Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
