I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
