worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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