I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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