his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
