I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im part way to drunk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
