so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
