I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
