You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im holly from the hills drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
