Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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