Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
