you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you didnt know i had herpes?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
