my phone needs a breathalizer
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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