you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
