Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
