Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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