I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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