I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize