This girl is more easily done than said...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
