I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
