It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I currently don't understand fingers.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
