you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
