Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
