But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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