yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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