Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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