Betty ford says i'm here all night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
