Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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