"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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