Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
