Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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