There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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