found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think my tv is drunk
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
