Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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