It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
