She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
