Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
