i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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