i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
