he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
