dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im holly from the hills drunk
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize