Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
