If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize