we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
