he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize