Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
