I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
