I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
