I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
