Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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