I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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