i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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