Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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