Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize