Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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