This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
