tell your sister to shave her snatch
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
