we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
