Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
