Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
