Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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