No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize