I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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