Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wish there were birth control emojis
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
