So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
