Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
