new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
