i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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