I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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