Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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